Husband Having An Affair - How to Survive Marital Infidelity

Husband Having An Affair – How to Survive Marital Infidelity

For those who have had to endure an affair in marriage, they will agree with me that it is the most painful thing they have ever had to go through. Most wives who are hit with the hard truth of a husband having an affair will tell you that in most cases, divorce was not an option. Everything has its advantages and disadvantages; an affair is no exception. If you choose to focus your attention on what caused your husband to stray, you will have a better chance of saving your marriage other than focusing on the affair.

In order to save your marriage, you need a strategy. Your aim is not just to save the marriage but to restore the first love, commitment, trust and friendship. You therefore need to take sometime away and focus on your lives. How much has the affair destroyed your trust, faith and love for your husband? Take time to accept, deal with the pain and anger your spouse has caused you. These feelings though should not control you as they will only hinder you from finding ways to heal the marriage. You need to do away with some old misconceptions about infidelity and get the realistic approach to the whole affair.

A husband is likely to have an affair if there is some emotional, physical or psychological need that the wife is not able to meet. Contrary to what many believe, people do not cheat on their partners because they no longer love them but they are just looking for something they cannot get from the marriage. Focus on that. Talk to your man, let him be honest enough. Make the atmosphere friendly enough for him to open up to you. Do not judge him or defend yourself when he sometimes points out things that offend you. This is the most important step in the journey of saving your marriage.

Once you realize what brought infidelity into your home, find ways to work it out. It is not easy and you do not have to pretend everything is okay. You might not even be able to solve the issues on your own. Go for counseling together. Refrain from reminding him of how much he has hurt you. He already knows that and the fact that he is willing to work on the marriage is enough proof. Learn to create time for just the two of you. Help him overcome the affair. He too is hurting, ashamed and lost.

Get friends to support you. Get spiritual guidance from your pastor or religious leader and books. Avoid people who ill advise you and only leave you bitter and angry. You need to be as positive as you possibly can. As bad as things might be, do not move out of the family home. It is ok if you move from the marital bed for sometime for you too need to heal from the infidelity but do not give your husband more time and chance of finding solace in the other woman because you have left him and the home you two have found comfort and love in.

Once you are able to find your way past the infidelity, you will find that your marriage is happier, more solid and love has been restored to the way it was in the beginning. Communication systems will open up and you will have learnt how to avoid another infidelity from destroying your lives.

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