Communication in Marriage | How to communicate with your spouse

Communication Skills in Marriage and Relationships


Every relationship requires effective communication for it to survive the test of conflicts and disagreements. Breakdown in communication is like a cancer to your marriage. Slowly, and sometimes so suddenly, your partnership deteriorates and falls apart.

It may sound preachy but it is only through honesty and being open with each other that a marriage can flourish. By not communicating and not giving consideration to your spouse’s opinions and needs, your marriage is definitely in trouble.

In a marriage, communication is about sharing thoughts and feelings with one another. Effective listening is just as important as conveying the message. Both of these skills should always be improved so that marital issues are resolved rather easily.

Any type of breakdown in the communication process can cause strife and bruised egos which often lead to resentments. But it is always better to speak up (in a thoughtful manner of course) than to bottle up emotions. Open communication is a requirement in any relationship but it should always be done respectfully.

Opening up your heartfelt feelings to your spouse will improve intimacy. We are all emotional beings and an intimate relationship like that of marriage is mainly about feelings. However it is only through proper communication of emotions that couples can avoid further conflict because being too emotional can lead to hurtful dialogue.

Sometimes, it is better to use words like “I think” rather than “I feel”. This way you are expressing a thought and not a feeling. You can also address a spouse’s behavior which you may not like this way, “I feel really bad when you…” This way, your spouse will understand your emotions and reactions more clearly.

In other words, it is all about being tactful and choosing the right words for conveying the message.

Listening, on the other hand, also takes special skill and it involves more than just physically listening to the words. It requires understanding, empathizing and reading between the lines. You can only do this effectively by letting your partner say everything he or she needs to convey. And whatever it is you hear, always react calmly and respond respectfully.

Another poor way of responding is by rejecting your partner’s feelings. Statements like “You should not feel that way.” or “Don’t worry, it will pass.” can be as destructive as saying something hurtful. Rejecting your partner’s sentiments is a way of showing that you don’t care.

All people complain, especially our spouses. Staying calm and considerate after hearing a provoking feedback is indeed difficult. But it can be done… it should be done in order to make your marriage work. Take time to think about their feelings, your feelings, and how the issue has affected you, your spouse and your marriage. Be thoughtful and avoid being reactive. Screaming back or getting back at your partner will never resolve a problem. It will only make it worse.

In a marriage, the husband and the wife should work as a team to find solutions to whatever issues they face. Problems will not disappear just by waiting and hoping. The couple should communicate to find a win-win resolution. Behavior modification may be required but it will be much easier if both parties decide to meet halfway.

Saving your marriage starts with effective communication. You might find it difficult at first but it is definitely better than having a painful divorce.

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