Is your relationship going near the edge and you find yourself begging for someone to help you stop your seemingly impending divorce?
If it makes you feel any better, you are not alone in this dilemma. Marriage problems that seem to flirt with the strong probability of separation and divorce are more common than you think.
Some people had successfully renewed their marital relationships; and some had indeed gone through the painful process of divorce but it should also be mentioned that some of these individuals had lived happy lives after their divorce. However, it is only reasonable to stop divorce on its tracks and do something before things get worse.
Firstly, you need to acknowledge the real possibility of divorce. There is no need to be in denial. Don’t fool yourself that everything will certainly be fine and things will get fixed. Be realistic. Realize that it can get to the point you wouldn’t like—divorce and separation.
Marriage Counselors can help a great deal
Emotional people can be awfully skeptical. Prideful couples under a lot of stress with their marriages are cynical when it comes to marriage counseling. In contrary, therapists and counselors are well-trained and are familiar with almost all scenarios and problems present in marriages.
They are not only trained to probe couples but also experts in neuro linguistics (NLP) that can be soothing and persuasive. Couples usually cannot help but get their guards down and become honest with their true feelings about the relationship. Whether it is mistrust, adultery, or something else—marriage counseling can help. Indeed, these professionals can be expensive but it is truly worth it. After all, the divorce process is much more financially draining. There are many counselors in your area with reasonable rates. Just ask around.
What to do when you are not yet able to find professional intervention
You are emotionally high and those are negative emotions you are feeling right now. The best thing you can do, if you are not able to find intervention, is to avoid engaging with your spouse. Don’t argue. Avoid scenarios which fuels possible conflict with your spouse.
You may feel that you are right, and maybe you are, but your spouse is adamant with his or her stand as well. This is not who’s wrong or who’s right. This is a “feelings” game, and you cannot force them to “feel” differently than they do.
If you are serious about improving your marital circumstances, realize that your enemy is not your spouse or your spouse’s line of reasoning. The real battle is against separation and divorce. Argue and you are just fueling negative feelings of hatred and resentment.
It is definitely tricky but don’t defend yourself. The very fact you are out there “defending” your point means that you are in a middle of a dispute. It is better to abandon your position, look deeper into your spouse’s argument and try to understand why he or she feels that way.
Of course, this is not an easy undertaking. When the going gets tough, find some professional intervention and it will lead you to the way of reconciliation.
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