Menopause and Midlife Crisis in Marriage

Menopause and Midlife Crisis in Marriage


Middle-age is a tough time for a married woman. As a woman approaches the age of 50, a lot of troubling questions plague her mind. Most commonly, women in midlife crisis are wondering what’s in store for them in the “bigger world”. Many contemplate divorcing their way out of their seemingly dreary married lives.

At ages 45 to 50 (and beyond), women’s unhappiness becomes significantly conspicuous. Mainly this is due to plenty of factors but the major culprit of this strong negative emotion is menopause. The menopausal stage is certainly difficult to cope for women who were once abundant with fertility and sexuality. Women do not have a choice as these hormonal changes put women on an emotional rollercoaster.

Depression is very common during the middle age.  Menopause, monotony in marriage, decrease in physical attractiveness, and deteriorating health —all of these— compound into serious mental and emotional instability. Marriages are commonly at risk during this stage as women consider divorce based on reasons far beyond their understanding.

Midlife is also the time that women tend to become more adventurous despite their less capable bodies. It can be said that their spirit is burning with desire for trying new things but the body is weak—making them feel more frustrated. They feel that the solution is just to break out of the monotony and familiarity which can be often summed up in one word… divorce.

What to do

At this stage, it is crucial for the husband (considering that he’s not also plagued by midlife crisis) to understand the emotions, wants, and desires of his wife. Being sensitive to your wife is primary and timing in communication is second.

As the husband, it is important to pick your battles. Don’t fight fire with fire if you do not want your marriage to end up in ashes. As a husband of a woman in menopause, it is suggested to give in to her desires as long as it they’re reasonable. If she wants to travel and see the world, join a club, meet with friends on a regular basis, or whatever out of the ordinary, allow her to explore these things.

Most of the time, these are just triggered by hormonal changes. But there are times that everything seems to be normal with the menopausal woman. At these times, husbands could and should communicate with his wife, addressing the situation they are in. It is also very important for the wife to realize that she is under midlife crisis and should be encouraged that this will pass.

Sometimes just knowing that you are not right in the head is enough therapy.